What is a Non-Escalator Relationship?
Have you heard about non-escalator relationships? They’re pretty much like deciding to step off the moving walkway at the airport. You know, the one that swiftly takes everyone in the same direction? Instead, you choose your own path, pace, and sometimes even backtrack or take detours. In essence, a non-escalator relationship doesn’t follow the so-called ‘relationship escalator‘ – that societal blueprint that climbs steadily from dating, to exclusive dating, engagement, marriage, buying a house, and filling it with kids.
Sure, the relationship escalator works dandy for many, but some folks are choosing to hop off. Why? They relish their freedom, don’t feel the need to conform, or simply because their life doesn’t dovetail with one-size-fits-all relationship milestones. These relationships can roam freely between friendship, romance, and partnership without the need for traditional markers like sharing a last name or a mortgage.
But it’s not all breezy: non-escalator relationships also bring their own challenges. Let’s chat about those, shall we?
Challenges of Non-Escalator Relationships
Choosing a non-escalator relationship is like wearing mismatched socks—unconventional and maybe a little eyebrow-raising, but hey, it’s what feels right. Yet society often views these socks—err, relationships—through skeptical lenses. People tend to equate relationship legitimacy with that ever-upward climb I mentioned earlier. Deviate from it and you might be accused of not taking your relationship seriously.
The biggest head-scratcher, however, is navigating love without societal yardsticks. Without the usual markers — anniversary of being “Facebook Official,” the pomp of engagements, or the bridal waltz —how do you show the world, or even just remind each other, that what you’ve got is the real deal?
Moreover, one or both partners could find themselves, even unconsciously, yearning for a sprinkle of tradition. It can get sticky if, say, one’s itching to exchange rings while the other’s content sharing a Netflix account. The trick is to keep yarns rolling about what each of you wants and to make sure everyone feels valued and understood. It’s all about rewriting the script together.
Cultivating Connection and Commitment
So, how does one build a fortress of companionship and dedication when the traditional blueprints are chucked out the window? For starters, try a shared calendar – it’s not just for business meetings and dentist appointments. Use it to carve out unshakable ‘we-time.’ It could be anything from a fortnightly ‘Freaky Friday’ to a monthly hike ‘n’ picnic, just anything that lets you both recharge and reconnect regularly.
Then there’s the tried-and-true PDA. No, not just smooching in public (though, if that’s your jam, go for it!). It’s about finding your own groove to show the world – and each other – that you’re a team. Maybe it’s an inside joke transformed into matching T-shirts, or a monthly ‘mixtape swap‘ tradition. It’s the small doses of daily affection that stitch a rich, shared experience.
The ‘what-are-we‘ talk is also key. It’s laying all the cards on the table regarding labels, commitment levels, and what’s expected of each other. And because non-escalator relationships are more like rivers than staircases, this isn’t a one-time sit-down. It’s an ongoing dialogue, evolving with the rhythms of your lives.
Bond over common interests, too. Find a cause you both stand behind or a hobby that sparks joy and connect over it. And ensure you’re a familiar face in each other’s squads. It’s these things that help to cement your bond just as significantly – if not more so – than those ‘established’ relationship benchmarks.
And let’s not forget about supporting each other through life’s roller coasters. Standing by your partner through thick and thin amplifies intimacy and trust. It’s not about clocking hours together; it’s about sharing values, celebrating wins, and shouldering losses together.
Making it Work Long-term
All right, taking the stairs together instead of the escalator – metaphorically speaking – means you’ll face some doozies that escalator-riders might not. A central theme is fluidity; construct your relationship so personal growth is not just allowed but encouraged. It’s okay if your path isn’t linear. Snooze on creating a rigorous end-goal and focus on the journey itself, where the routes are plentiful and the map is constantly getting redrawn.
Next up, always be in the business of falling in love – over and over. Keep those check-ins a regular fixture, and intentionally nurture that spark, be it through heartfelt conversations, fun escapades, or just maintaining the magic that comes from knowing someone inside out. Remember, the flames of intimacy won’t fan themselves.
It’s also crucial to acknowledge your impact on one another’s life stories. Celebrating each other’s imprint on your individual and joint journeys signals trust and connection. It’s not about roping each other in; it’s about recognizing the beautiful mosaic of influence you are to each other.
And though the future might be more open-ended in a non-escalator relationship, it doesn’t have to be a complete guess. Dreaming up ‘what could be‘ — without the pressure of promises or preset expectations — allows your relationship to be a living, breathing entity. Contemplate the possible paths ahead together, and remember that in non-escalator relationships, the aim isn’t to reach the ‘top’ but to enjoy moving through life side by side.
Now, let’s tie all this up in a bow. Whether you’ve been nodding along because this hits close to home, or your eyebrows have taken flight with intrigue, consider that the beauty of relationships – however you sculpt them – lies in the molding of a shared narrative. If this resonated with you, or if you’ve got your own tales of non-escalator adventures, don’t be a stranger; share your experiences or get the conversation rolling in the comments. Who knows? You might just inspire another pair of wanderers to craft their own unique path.
