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Tips and Advice for Making a Free Use Relationship Work

Defining a Free Use Relationship

Have you heard about free use relationships? It’s a concept that’s been buzzing around lately and, boy, does it stir up some conversations at the dinner table! But what exactly does it mean? At its heart, a free use relationship is an understanding between partners where one can initiate intimacy at nearly any time, riding the waves of continuous consent and a robust foundation of mutual trust.

Picture this: You’re in the kitchen, kneading dough for some home-baked goodness, when your partner gives you “the look.” Before you know it, you’re not just baking bread but also spicing things up in a whole new way. It’s about relinquishing a bit of control to bring about a sense of spontaneity and adventure to your intimacy.

This kind of dynamic has its roots tangled up in BDSM concepts like dominance and submission, and the thrillingly controversial idea of “consensual non-consent.” It’s a setup that often appeals to the bold—couples looking to light a new fire under their relationship, to walk on the wild side of their sexual endeavors.

Now, this can be a lot to wrap one’s head around, and it’s definitely not for everyone. If you’re someone who treasures a slower, more scheduled approach to intimacy, or if the idea of such openness and exploration wrinkles your brow, then this dynamic might not be up your alley. It’s all about personal comfort levels and, more importantly, mutual consent. Remember, no one should ever feel uncomfortable or degraded in their relationship.

Making a Free Use Relationship Work

Laying the Groundwork

So, you and your significant other are considering a free use relationship—how exciting and potentially… tricky! Before you dive in, let’s not forget the cardinal rule: communication. Discuss why you’re interested in this setup, what you both hope to get out of it, and importantly, the boundaries that’ll keep things enjoyable and safe for both parties. And yes, the ever-important safe word—it’s like a relationship fire extinguisher, there for safety and everybody’s peace of mind.

Schedule Regular Check-ins on Feelings

Just like how you’d service your car to keep it humming smoothly, regular check-ins with your partner are absolutely essential. These little heart-to-hearts are the oil that keeps the engine of your relationship running. They help air out any simmering issues before they boil over. And honestly, who doesn’t love a good “just checking in on us” chat?

Commit to Open and Empathetic Communication

Now, this is non-negotiable. All the spontaneous cuddles in the world won’t make up for if you’re not talking openly and empathetically. Remember, it’s not just about the sexy stuff—it’s about nurturing a connection that respects each other’s feelings.

Best Practices

Enthusiastic consent—is there any other kind? Every single time, it should be as clear as a sunny day. And if there’s doubt, then let those questions flow. We’re talking about a dynamic that’s built on the evergreen pillars of respect and consent here.

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Set Some Reasonable Ground Rules

Boundaries are your friends. They’re like the rules of the road, keeping everyone safe. So, sit down over a cup of coffee and hash out what’s cool and what’s not. Think: safety, work obligations, and life’s many curveballs. It’s better to agree on the “No-Go Zones” now than stumble into them later.

Make Space for Partners to Decline an Advance if Needed

Sometimes, one of you just won’t be in the mood. And that’s perfectly okay. The beauty of a free use relationship doesn’t mean it’s a free-for-all. Respect each other’s ‘no’ as much as the ‘yes.’ It’s about choice, every time.

Give Reassurance and Affection During and After Sexual Encounters

Post-intimacy cuddles? Yes, please! Affectionate touches, kisses, and the sweet nothings that follow are like the cherry on top. They make everything feel warmer and more intimate, reminding your partner that it’s not just about the act—it’s about the connection.

Avoiding Pitfalls

Continuous consent doesn’t give you a pass on reading body language. Sometimes, it’s all about the non-verbal cues, so keep your eyes open and tune in to your partner’s feelings. It’s like being a good dancer—being in sync with your partner is key.

Prevent Possessive/Selfish Behavior Through Caring Check-Ins

Caring check-ins are the antidote to selfishness. They’re a warm blanket, a cozy tea for the soul. It’s about saying, “I care about us, not just my needs.”

Watch for Signs of Emotional Hurt or Resentment and Address Promptly

Keeping an eye out for the little shadows of hurt or resentment before they grow into dark clouds over your relationship is so important. Address them promptly, and remember, the sun always shines brighter after a little rain.

Benefits of a Free Use Dynamic

Adds Excitement and Combats Sexual Boredom

Routine got you down? A free use relationship can be like turning on the lights at a surprise party. It injects a fun, unexpected element into your life, giving both of you something to look forward to. Talk about sparking joy!

Fosters Intimacy Through Vulnerability and Fulfillment of Desires

Oh, the closeness you feel when you can be utterly vulnerable with your partner and have your desires met—it’s like the warmest hug for your heart. It’s truly soul-nourishing, trust me.

Strengthens Trust as Partners Feel Safe Expressing Authentic Sexuality

It’s a trust-fest in a free use relationship. Being able to express your true self without fear solidifies that trust foundation. It’s like building a fortress where you both can be your most genuine selves.

Allows Individuals to Explore Sexual Interests More Fully

Curiosity didn’t just intrigue the cat; it also brought new excitement to the bedroom. Moving away from the vanilla can be so rewarding!

Creates Opportunities for Passion and Playfulness

Who said passion and playfulness were only for kids? Adults need fun times too, and a free use relationship is like having a playground at home.

Provides a Sexual Outlet That Reduces Temptation to Cheat

Let’s face it, sometimes wandering eyes wander. But if you have a smorgasbord of intimacy at home, why eat out? A free use relationship can be a steamy solution to keeping things hot and heavy.

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Challenges of Free Use Relationships

Requires High Levels of Communication Some May Struggle With

Communication is the fuel here, but not everyone’s a chatterbox. For those a bit quieter, this level of open dialogue can be daunting—but it’s an obstacle that can be overcome with patience and practice.

Risk of Nonconsensual Sex if “No” Isn’t Respected

Risks are part of life, but one we never play with is the risk of non-consent. Ensuring a clear ‘no’ retains its power is crucial; otherwise, what’s meant to be fun can devolve into something painful and harmful.

Can Enable Selfish Behavior Without Proper Relationship Care

Keep your eyes peeled for the creeping vines of selfishness. Proper relationship care ensures that the free use garden doesn’t become overrun by these pesky weeds.

May Breed Resentment Over Sexual Refusal/Rejection

Rejection isn’t anyone’s best friend—it’s the one guest you didn’t want at the party. It’s normal to feel a bit bruised when you hear ‘no’, but don’t let resentment settle in. Keep the lines open and address any hurt feelings promptly.

Blurs Boundaries Which Can Feel Violating For Some Partners

Boundaries should be clear, like lines in the sand. If they start to blur, it might feel like a transgression, so keeping them well-defined is like respecting each other’s personal space, but on an intimate level.

Expert Tips for Making It Work

Discuss What Fulfillment Looks Like for Both Partners

Dive into what satisfaction means for both of you. Is it a daily romp in the sheets? Cuddles? Open conversation? Nail it down, and you’re halfway to paradise.

Check in on the Health of the Relationship, Not Just Sex

It’s not just about the bedroom gymnastics—check in on the beating heart of the relationship, too. How are you both feeling? Satisfied? Loved?

Be Aware of Each Other’s Stress Levels and Life Circumstances

Life can be a stress monster. Paying attention to each other’s mental load can make all the difference in how you approach your free use dynamic.

Watch for Signs of Codependency and Entitlement

A free use relationship shouldn’t be a crutch or a crown. Steer clear of codependent behaviors and a sense of entitlement; they’re the party crashers you want to keep out.

Have an Alternate Safe Word for Times When Someone Really Needs a Break

In case of emotional emergency, break out the alternate safe word. Sometimes, you just need a timeout to breathe and this is your “stop everything and hug” button.